True Happiness

Recently I have been thinking a lot about life and happiness. I have been through a lot of things lately that have brought disappointment and discouragement. I have been feeling that there is something missing in my life. This week as I was off from teaching for fall break (which is something entirely new to me) and I began thinking about the things that truly made me happy and who I am today.

One thing that made me happy is doing math. I know it is nerdy to think that way but for me it is great to be able to take a problem and find a new way to look at it and to discover new ideas. It has always been something that eases my mind and creates happiness in my life.

Soccer is another. When I talk to most people about playing soccer they tell me that I am crazy and that I am fearless. It amazes me that I can be seen like that since I feel that I have so many fears in my life. I guess I am just more confident when I step into the box and play. Recently I told someone that if I was able to could a house in the 18yard box of a soccer field I would do just that. All that stress leaves my body and I am so relaxed. I love being there and I hope that happiness never leaves.

Another thing that brings me joy is to be with true friends. I don't mean friends that come and go and are only there at certain times. I am talking about friends that will be there for you till the bitter end. This is a picture of one of those true friends. Even though we don't talk every day and we don't live close I still consider him a great friend and someone that I will always trust with my life.

Finally but not last is my family. I can never say enough about my family. There will always be the true reason I am the person I am today. I know that I am away from all of them and I do not have the greatest relationship with them all with no fighting and no disagreements but that is what makes being a part of a family that great. I know that this is not all of the family but it is just one memory that I will always hold dear to my heart.

When life gets you down and you feel that you cannot go anywhere else it is important to look at the things that make you happy. Not the fake in the moment happiness but true happiness that makes you smile without trying and makes you want to get up every day and experience. At this moment I am trying to put that to work. I am remembering those things that bring happiness to me and my life.

Moving down here to Mesa to teach and possibly staying here is something that I have mixed feelings about. I have struggled to find people that see me as I am and not want me to be different. I know that I have made a decision to just plan my life around the things that I need and to make sure that I am able to live my life on my own. I have been planning things on "what ifs" and "maybes". That is not working. So from this point on I will be doing what I need to do for myself. With that in mind I have accepted the fact that marriage may not be something that I will experience. It is something that I have come to accept and it will not let me get depressed. It is what it is. I can still be happy and live a great life. There is no shame in that. I am glad that I have parents who do not pressure me into that stage of life. They let me live the life that I want and give me advice that I am glad to get but in the end they leave the big decisions to me. I will always remember that and love them for it.

In the end life is something that is meant to be cherished and not thrown away for "what ifs" and maybes". I hope that we can all learn something from that and find our true happiness like I have been trying to do and getting closer to achieve.

 

Student Teaching/Life

So I have officially slacked when it comes to writing about what has been happening in my life. Since the last post when I graduated from college it has been a real roller coaster with what has happened and everything. Since that point I have moved down to Mesa Arizona where I have begun my student teaching. When I first arrived down here in Mesa I was really excited to start. It was hard to sit around and not doing anything for the first week or so. Once school started things took off and the teaching was awesome. I have begun to really love it and I have begun to realize that I have had the desire to teach all of my life and right now I am so close to having that dream job that everyone talks about having.

I have been involved with teaching for almost two months now and I am at the point where I am teaching about every day and I will soon be teaching a full chapter for two of the periods (hours) of the day. I have some great activities and some great plans to teach them. The unit will be on applying percent and there will be a lot of real life examples that I can put in it. This past Friday was the last day of the quarter so we will have the week off all next week. I was able to do a fun activity to really help the students see how math is connected and how we can look at the things we teach them in so many different ways. It has been eye opening to really see those kids that care and that are really grasping the things that we have taught them. I know that I am in the right profession and that I am doing everything that I want to do in life. The bus ride to the school is always fun too. I have made some acquaintances as well. We talk about things on the ride to class and I am known on the bus as "Mr. Lowe" because I have to wear a name tag and they have never learned my first name.

Life outside of teaching has been really exciting as well. I have been able to find a total of 4 leagues to play in. 2 of them are co-ed, and the other 2 are men's. On Wednesday I played for 3 different teams so I can play from about 2 to 4 games on the same night. It is great because it is short sided 6v6. We have some solid teams and we will see how we do in the playoffs. This last Wednesday I was actually able to score a goal by throwing it into the other goal from the box. It was pretty cool to see and the other teams waiting to play thought it was pretty cool too. What made it sweeter is that the team we played was undefeated until we played them. On the other nights that I do not play soccer, I am playing in stake softball. It is fun and I get a good workout but I wish I was a little bit better so that I could help the team out more. It reminds me of the year I played little league except I actually swing the bat this time. (And not at the other team).

A lot has been happening with my life but I am glad to be where I am right now and I miss my family so much. I want to see them and spend some time with them. I never realized how being alone can be so hard at times. I hope that I can continue to keep this blog going and that I am abe to write more about my life since I know that I have missed a lot of things that have happened in my life that I want to tell others.