Will of the Lord

So I have realized that it has been almost 3 weeks since I have last written anything. It is exactly 1:45 in the morning while I am writing this. I am watching my usual set of shows that I get on hulu. It has become a weekly weekend thing that I do. It relaxes me and gives me time that I do not have to worry about a whole lot. This is rare for what has happened in the last few weeks.

Lately I have been thinking about some various things. I have wrestled with a lot of different feelings and where I stand on those feelings. Sitting here not being able to sleep I have found that I have some great friends that really look out for me. The keyword to this is friends. Sometimes in life we think that we need to immediately go to the point where we need to look at people and see if we can have a relationship with them right away. That is what we think many times. Yesterday I spent an hour and a half talking to a really good friend from college. She really got me thinking about where I am in life. Tonight I have found my answer. This seems very vague. I know that I have a hard time explaining how I feel in words. It really shows that I have that logical mind rather than the creative mind.

To help explain in better terms I always go back to a quote that was given to me from my high school wrestling coach in Ohio. The quote read:

“The impossible is what no one can do, until somebody does”

I never understood what that meant for awhile until I eventually graduated from high school and started my path to a career and my adulthood. Looking back I really don’t think that I understood it till tonight. Life is full of things that we have never done before. A lot of times before we attempt these things we think that we will not be able to do it and that we are going to fail. This prevents us from accomplishing the things that we dream of when we are kids. Once we get over that fear of failing we begin to accomplish those little things and before we know it we are accomplishing things that are beyond what we thought we could ever do. That is exactly what the quote is saying. We think things are impossible until we begin to try and then we see that we can do it and it pushes us.

These last few weeks I have honestly struggled with life. I have felt that I have not accomplished a lot in life. This is far from the truth. I have a bachelor’s degree in math education and I have a steady job where I do what I love. Not very many people can say that. I made a good comment to my friend while we talked. I said “I have accepted the fact that the Lord may not have the same plan that everyone one else thinks I will have. The Lords’ will may not be to get married and have children of my home. His will may be that I get to teach other children every day for the rest of my life. I get to give them a little bit of an education and teach them how to succeed in that way.” It is something that I have not realized until yesterday.

As I am writing this I have also realized that in life the people that we cross paths with may be for a short or long time but they cross our paths for a reason. Our purpose is to figure out just exactly what their purpose is for us. They can be different for everyone.    The best way to find this purpose can be in a response that never comes. You learn so much more from it than what they do say.

From all of this I have found a couple of goals that I want to work on and see where life takes me in the future.

• ·Find a permanent teaching job for the 2013-2014 school year
•  Change myself into a person that I want to be rather than what the world thinks I can be. 
• ·         Keep in touch with those close friends that I have.
• Find a few friends that I can trust rather than a lot of friends that I sometimes don’t trust
• ·         Right the wrongs that I have done.

I I think that this is something that I really need to focus on. Some of these goals are temporal and others spiritual but they will help me to make my life in accordance of what the Lord wants me to be.